The Year in NSFW

It’s been a long, hard year. But 2012 is coming to an end, climaxing in the end of year holidays. There’s been a plethora of game posts here on Kotaku. Some of them have been breaking, some of them have been enlightening, and some of them have not exactly been safe for work. So, let’s look back at the sexy and sometimes lurid year that was 2012. Here are some of this year’s most interesting (and alarming) NSFW posts. And don’t worry. It’s late now. After dark. Enjoy. https://kotaku.com/hot-nintendo-porn-action-hide-your-kids-hide-your-wif-5874169/ Hot Nintendo Porn Action. Hide Your Kids. Hide Your Wife. Shocking. Sick. Have you no shame, Dylan? There are children on the internet. I’m sorry, followers [tmad40blue] More » https://kotaku.com/the-hidden-naked-lady-of-kirby-2-5911890 The Hidden Naked “Lady” of Kirby 2 While 1995 was a simpler time, that doesn’t mean it wasn’t a sexier one. Just look at the saucy hijinks Japanese game developers slipped into Kirby’s Dream Land 2. More » https://kotaku.com/mr-awesome-champion-gamer-playgirl-model-5902517 Mr. Awesome, the Greatest Video Game Player Who Ever Lived If you hear the words “professional video game player”, you probably picture somebody who is, well, the exact opposite of awesome. As fair or unfair as that is (sorry professional video game players!), that’s usually what happens. More » https://kotaku.com/youll-never-look-at-the-resident-evil-6-logo-the-same-5878345/ You’ll Never Look at the Resident Evil 6 Logo the Same Apologies for all the blowjobs tonight! (I’ve always wanted to write that.) Just like Yoshi on the Japanese tea cartons, here’s another subliminal image you cannot unsee: More » https://kotaku.com/copywriter-points-to-skyrim-blowjob-ad-5878341 https://kotaku.com/next-time-you-have-sex-in-front-of-a-webcam-make-sure-5957046 Next Time You Have Sex In Front of a Webcam, Make Sure It’s Turned Off It’s been, what, only a few weeks since Slooshi was caught jerking off on camera after a League of Legends livestream event? Well, looks like somebody – and by somebody, I mean World of Warcraft player murdaralph – didn’t learn their lesson. Having finished a Mists of Pandaria livestreaming session… More » https://kotaku.com/if-youre-streaming-a-game-online-dont-start-jerking-of-5952742 https://kotaku.com/nsfw-the-ps3s-new-wonderbook-may-have-adult-uses-after-5959995 NSFW: The PS3’s New Wonderbook May Have Adult Uses After All Sony’s Wonderbook copped laughs at E3 because it’s for kids, and grown-up gamers on the internet simply can’t abide that. But just when you thought the fancy book-and-wand set was only of use for wee ones, here’s a video from GameSpot’s Danny O’Dwyer showing its more… More » https://kotaku.com/harry-potters-author-helping-sony-with-an-interactive-p-5915721 https://kotaku.com/diablo-widows-get-dildos-in-french-sex-shop-stunt-5910975 Diablo Widows Get Dildos in French Sex Shop Stunt Ladies, have you gone lonely as your lovers have spent hours trying to penetrate the secrets of Diablo III (or, more probably, penetrate the game’s login screen). More » https://kotaku.com/lollipop-chainsaw-turned-into-a-japanese-porno-5959411 Lollipop Chainsaw Turned into a Japanese Porno You know the rule: If it exists, there’s a porn of it. Well, video game Lollipop Chainsaw exists (we have the review to prove pay69 slot ดาวน์โหลด it). And now there is the inevitable adult video version of it. Slated to be released next week, the movie is called Tia’s Geek Cosplay FUCK!… More » https://kotaku.com/lollipop-chainsaw-the-kotaku-review-5917497 https://kotaku.com/this-jacked-up-video-game-murder-scene-would-never-fly-5963368 This Jacked-Up Video Game Murder Scene Would Never Fly Today Don’t ask me why I wound up googling this cutscene from Phantasmagoria over the weekend, but I did, and I watched it, and good lord. It’s even worse than I remembered! Go ahead and watch it. More » https://kotaku.com/if-cats-watched-porn-i-guess-theyd-watch-this-5960776 If Cats Watched Porn, I Guess They’d Watch This Cats and porn. These are two of the biggest juggernauts on the internet. And a Japanese company called Soft On Nyanko has figured out how to bring them together, like never before. More » https://kotaku.com/japanese-cosplayer-feels-heat-for-flashing-taiwanese-po-5885260 Japanese Cosplayer Feels Heat For Flashing Taiwanese Police Car While Japanese cosplayer Ushijima Ii Niku (“Good Meat”) was in Taiwan, she caused a media storm after showing up to an event in her underpants. The incident even made the evening news there. More » https://kotaku.com/the-wild-sexy-world-of-japans-biggest-amateur-pin-up-5745534 https://kotaku.com/playboys-girls-of-the-internet-is-1996-as-it-should-be-5947742 Playboy’s Girls of the Internet is 1996 as it Should be Remembered: Hilariously Don’t worry, this isn’t (very) NSFW. We’re here for laughs, not leers. The clip above is an edited version of a film (remixed by DeeprUnderstanding) originally directed executive produced by Hugh Hefner himself, back when he was just an old guy who was out of touch, and not the shambling ghost of… More » https://kotaku.com/chinese-news-confuses-masturbation-toy-with-a-mysteriou-5919482 Chinese News Confuses Masturbation Toy with a Mysterious Mushroom It was unlike anything the villagers had ever seen. The young news reporter who arrived on the scene was quick to point out that the “mysterious mushroom” felt “meaty”. More » https://kotaku.com/how-a-naked-japanese-man-launched-endless-photoshops-5954408 How a Naked Japanese Man Launched Endless Photoshops This March, a NSFW thread popped up on 2ch, the country’s largest bulletin board. The thread’s title was “Let’s Gather All the Nude Art Model Pics by Searching Google!”, and it featured an array of nude art models. But something funny happened. More » If You’re Streaming a Game Online, Don’t Start Jerking Off on Camera, OK? Poor Slooshi. The League of Legends player was livestreaming one of his rounds earlier today when, in a fit of boredom, he decided to alt+tab and do something else. Like, uh, go watch some porn. More » https://kotaku.com/the-sex-game-that-crossed-lines-and-unnerved-its-creato-5908827 The Sex Game That Crossed Lines and Unnerved Its Creator A post by a psychotherapist on the RPG-Maker forums informed the world of his latest idea: a game about sex. Not the clean, safe sex we typically see in games, mind. More » https://kotaku.com/this-graphic-novel-shows-why-mermaid-sex-is-a-very-bad-5948327 This Graphic Novel Shows Why Mermaid Sex Is a Very Bad Idea Nobody really gets scared of mermaids. I mean, yeah, there are much more frightening things underneath the surface of the sea, like sharks, octopi or stingrays. More » https://kotaku.com/chef-cooks-penis-serves-it-up-for-dinner-in-tokyo-5913257 Chef Cooks Penis, Serves It Up for Dinner in Tokyo Illustrator Mao Sugiyama tweeted a simple proposition: Mao’s male genitals (penis, testicles, and scrotum) as a ¥100,000 meal. The illustrator even offered to cook them. Sugiyama is not a real chef-and admitted as much-but was offering a real plate of penis. More » https://kotaku.com/forget-call-of-duty-this-is-what-real-war-looks-like-5947161/ Forget Call of Duty, This is What Real War Looks Like A generation of military first-person shooters like Call of Duty and Battlefield may have millions of kids thinking they know modern warfare, but they don’t. More » https://kotaku.com/when-anime-boobs-and-baby-dingalings-must-be-changed-5932394 When Anime Boobs and Baby Dingalings Must Be Changed Ask any anime fan, and they’ll tell you: cartoons in Japan are different from their localized counterparts. Last night on Japanese TV, the issue was explored for the Japanese viewing public, who was surprised to learn that English language versions of anime are edited. More » https://kotaku.com/okay-maybe-the-minecraft-creeper-plush-does-look-a-lit-5931174 Okay, Maybe the Minecraft Creeper Plush Does Look a Little NSFW Coming in September from official Minecraft online retailer Jinx, this huggable depiction of the game’s most familiar foe does, at first, resemble the Incredible Hulk’s junk. My younger sister Nadine was at my apartment watching my children when the UPS man arrived with the package containing the… More » https://kotaku.com/mass-effects-hilarious-unintended-subtitles-5921582 Mass Effect’s Hilarious, Unintended Subtitles Like almost every other game, Mass Effect 3 has official subtitles. But that’s not what we’re looking at today. No, what you’re about to see is what happens when people record themselves playing Mass Effect 3, upload videos to YouTube then let Google’s service try and guess what’s being said on… More » https://kotaku.com/its-duke-nukem-reciting-an-erotic-novel-5926219 It’s Duke Nukem. Reciting an Erotic Novel. Captured at Comic-Con Connecticon, here’s Jon St. John – the long-time voice actor behind Duke Nukem – reading an excerpt from inexplicably popular erotic novel Fifty Shades of Grey. Warning: More » https://kotaku.com/please-dont-masturbate-in-japanese-arcades-453100777 Please Don’t Masturbate in Japanese Arcades There’s a time and place for everything. When you are in a Tokyo arcade, you should play video games, not with yourself. Common courtesy, folks! According to Final Round organizer Scott Popular, one male gamer seems to have confused his joystick with an arcade one. More » https://kotaku.com/far-cry-3-s-crazy-villain-rants-about-dubstep-5924515 Far Cry 3’s Crazy Villain Rants About Dubstep. Even the characters inside of video games are sick of the wub-wub. Listen to Vaas-the insane pirate at the center of open-world first-person-shooter Far Cry 3-bitch about the bass-heavy tracks that pop up in damn near every big-budget video game trailer. More » https://kotaku.com/far-cry-3-s-insane-edition-gets-a-gloriously-appropriat-5912621 https://kotaku.com/face-eater-attack-in-china-5922276 Face-Eater Attack in China Late last month, a naked man in Miami was fatally shot after he wouldn’t stop chewing on another man’s face. This wasn’t the start of a zombie apocalypse (but, rather, as sister site Jezebel pointed out, mentally ill people without a safety net). More » https://jezebel.com/there-is-no-miami-zombie-apocalypse-just-mentally-ill-5914724 https://kotaku.com/dropping-game-jokes-into-porn-video-names-is-one-way-to-5906202 Dropping Game Jokes Into Porn Video Names is One Way to Make a Living Reader Samshel Darkspear has a rather interesting job. He freelances ufa888 for porn sites. Not as a cameraman, or an actor, but for the actual riches777 sites. As a headline writer. It’s about the only writing you can do for a porn site these days (sorry literary fetishists!), I guess, but someone needs to do it,… More » https://kotaku.com/war-of-the-farts-5886462/ War of the Farts Today, we are lucky. For entertainment, we have television, video games, and the internet. Back in olden times, people had to be more creative with their diversions-make that, very creative. More » https://kotaku.com/thank-this-japanese-porn-star-for-edgy-cosplay-5876723/ Thank this Japanese Porn Star for Edgy Cosplay The lines between Japanese cosplay and adult videos are becoming increasingly blurred. Porno actresses are doing cosplay. Cosplayers are doing blue movies. More » https://kotaku.com/how-japanese-cosplay-is-moving-closer-to-porn-5844981